Redefining beauty beyond the perfect body

I always dreamed about how my body would look after I lost weight. I’d suck in my stomach as I passed a mirror, looking forward to that day it would finally be flat. A flat stomach decorated with a sparkly belly button piercing – that was the picture of “success” I clung to for years.

While the days of dreaming of having my belly on display and worthy of a piercing are long gone, the goal of a flat stomach never left. Despite years of carrying a large fibroid that distorted my midsection and a surgeon’s recommendation for surgery, I clung to the hope that weight loss would be the answer.

Of course it wasn’t. I lost my excess weight in my 40’s, and while my body and autophagy did a great job of taking care of excess skin, it didn’t magically make my overhanging pouch disappear.

As early as that first moment when you become aware of your body as not being perfect, it’s easy to get caught up in the airbrushed ideal of beauty and wish for change. I don’t think I was in training bras for very long before I needed larger ones, and the boys at school noticed. The taunts came quickly soon after and I was made very aware of how different I was to other girls. Once I hit puberty and the weight gain began, it got worse, especially when it came to sports, locker rooms and teachers making comments about my weight. The imperfection of my excess weight became a familiar, if painful, part of who it meant to be me.

Thanks to photo correcting apps and filters, we’re bombarded with flawless images, and the pressure to want to be part of that perfection is immense. But I’d like to ask you – is the quest for physical perfection really worth it? And if we decide to go under the knife for “corrections”, what happens when it doesn’t go as planned?

One night I came across the show Botched. It focuses on the struggles of people seeking corrective surgery to rebuild their self-confidence after plastic surgery gone wrong. The show made me reflect on the extreme lengths people go to in pursuit of a body image that doesn’t even exist. And how often we think we can do it on the cheap!

It got me thinking – do I really want to go under the knife just to meet someone else’s idea of perfection? Am I willing to spend the rest of my life paying it off? Will fixing one issue just make others glaringly obvious? What if the surgery goes wrong, and I end up worse off than before? It’s a scary thought, right?

Will making surgical changes to my appearance solve the deeper issue at hand? You and I both know the answer to that. Without doing the mental work, what we see in the mirror won’t change. In our pursuit of physical perfection, we often lose sight of how crucial mental well-being is to the journey. Will that nose job or tummy tuck really bring the happiness we’re chasing, or are we better off redirecting our energy towards dealing with everything we’re holding inside?

It’s not about shunning the desire to look our best – we all want to feel confident and sexy. But I believe true confidence lies in being our own brand of unique perfection. Confidence shines from the inside out, and when you’re living your best life, mentally and physically, it shows. Botched has shown me that working on growth, self-acceptance, self-love and a healthy body should always be the first step before making surgical alterations.

So, let’s empower ourselves beyond our physical attributes. Make your journey one you own from the beginning to your goal. Beauty on the outside is just a facade if you don’t also shine on the inside. In the grand scheme of things, a few extra lines, wrinkles, or a less-than-flat tummy won’t define us. What defines us is our strength, resilience, and the love we give ourselves.

Instead of fixating on what’s wrong with your body, celebrate what’s right. Embrace the differences and love them anyway. Prioritize mental health and a positive body image.

After all, isn’t confidence the sexiest thing a woman can wear? And guess what? It doesn’t come in a syringe, a scalpel or with pain – it comes from the beauty within.