Have you ever wondered why some women seem to effortlessly embrace a new lifestyle all the way to their goal weight, while others feel like they’re constantly white-knuckling the journey and never get there?
You may have carried a resolution to be slimmer, healthier or stronger for most of your life, just like I did. Yet, despite wanting it badly, it seemed to never quite be within reach for me. Over time, past diet and weight loss experiences cast shadows on my beliefs, turning my goal of losing weight into a heavy burden of “shoulds” (I should choose a salad) and “have-to’s” (I have to exercise more). My restrictive internal language made the whole process feel like chores to be done, making it so much easier to convince myself I was never going to get there so I may as well stop trying.
Instead of feeling invested in the healthier lifestyle, pressure to conform and negative self-talk can make it feel like a trap. Change fueled by guilt or shame – reflected in the constant use of “should”, “have to”, “must” and “can’t” – is a recipe for frustration. There’s no lasting motivation to keep doing it when you’re not truly committed. It won’t feel like your choice, and resentment will eventually pull you back to your old ways. The allure of the new lifestyle, the positive pull that makes change feel exciting, will be missing.
The answer to sustaining a new lifestyle lies in a simple shift in perspective. The crucial part to remember is, you always have a choice. You can choose to change, or you can choose to keep living the way you are. When you freely choose, and believe that choice has benefits that will make you happier, you’re more likely to stick with the change. And then own your decision, whatever that decision is.
Another trap many fall into is focusing on the negative consequences of their current lifestyle – weight gain, health problems, lack of energy or sleep. But negatives rarely push us to change permanently, especially when you are actually secretly happier with the current lifestyle (as crazy as that sounds, and despite the unhappy outcome). If you believe freedom means being able to eat whenever you want, the number on the scale won’t make that lifestyle any less appealing.
So, let’s start with looking at your current lifestyle. What about it makes you happy, so happy that even the consequences of living that lifestyle aren’t enough to help you change? What are the things you think you’ll have to give up if you make changes?
Next, explore the benefits intermittent fasting has for you (and other options if you’re considering them). What about this new lifestyle would make you happier? It could be less time in the kitchen, more energy, less decisions to make, or that you can enjoy all the foods that make you feel good, without restriction. Create a list of the things to look forward to. Compare the options and choose the one that feels best for you.
If you do decide to change your lifestyle, the approach you take makes all the difference. You can view it with a sense of dread and focus on the negatives. Or, you can see it as an adventure with lots of milestones on the way to the outcome you’ve always wanted. It’s all about perspective.